3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
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