just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
