That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Never joke about your clitoris.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
