I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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