just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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