you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
