Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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