Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
