He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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