please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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