and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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