at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
