I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
