That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
