Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
