new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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