I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
