I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
