I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
