You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
