He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
