We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
