Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
