So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Let's get the cat blown out
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I would ride that face into the sunset
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
