Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
