I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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