i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
