i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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