OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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