More tranny stories later!
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
