just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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