thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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