Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
