When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
