can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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