after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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