Jerry, you need to find god
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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