I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
either way he was missing a nipple.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
