Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
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