i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
