uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
