Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
