Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
