If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
