My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
