So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
