I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
