Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
