so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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