Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
