Me. At least after what I've been through.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
