No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
