Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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