Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
