How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
