Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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