I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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