Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
