The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
