Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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